Remember

Each day I turn around and suddenly it's 6pm or 8pm - flash, a day is ending. I have so much I need to get done and I'm lucky if I get to half of it. I've always said if I could choose a superpower that's what I'd choose - the ability to speed up or slow down time, to get through things you'd rather not be doing and slow down moments that memories are made of. The day before yesterday (May 13th) was a day when slowing down time would have been my choice. I got to the NICU during the day and Lucian's nurse asked if I wanted to hold him and naturally I jumped at the oppurtunity,. I was practically skipping out of there to go get a blue gown to wear over my clothes. Carefully, the nurse took him out, watching the placement of each and every wire and tube. She laid him in my left arm and we sat in a big comfortable chair for about 15 minutes. He was resting, eyes closed and I talked to him and smiled at him hoping we could stay this way for a long while. He did very well but began to desaturate towards the end so rather than stressing him we put him back in the isolette. When Emma-Sky's nurse saw me holding Lucian she said she was going on her break until 1 but if I wanted to stay I could hold her then. I used the time inbetween wisely, expressing breastmilk at the hospital and then lingering until I could hold her. I'd never held her at all yet and held Lucian just briefly about 2 days before this day. Emma's isolette is the first one in a row of others and it's a tighter squeeze to manipulate and manuever but we managed. She came out and into my arms for the very first time. At first she was stressed, desaturating a bit. The nurse increased her O2 and she settled down. She was resting for the most part and I was talking to her, singing along to the radio nearby at times. She looks more and more like Adam each day, it's pretty incredible. They are both putting on more weight, they have these cute little cheeks now. ;)

They are planning to increase Lucian's feedings to 20ccs today and Emma starting eating again on Wednesday, first at 1cc, today at 2.5ccs. We are praying she is okay this time around. Lucian's septum doesn't seem to be improving, the nurse we spoke to last night agreed that days went by that noone checked his nose for that to have happened. We are sad and angry that their negligence has resulted in him most likely needing plastic surgery.

It's a beautiful day today - I say forget the laundry and order in dinner tonight and go play - whether it be by yourself or with someone you love or with your children, forget the endless list of things you "have to do" and do what you want to do - take the time to make a memory. ;)