1 step forward, 2 steps back.

When I called the hospital this morning Lucian's nurse told me he is back on the machine at 21 percent. She said he got tired around 3am but they will try again if they see he's able. I hope he's able to breathe on his own but I felt he probably wasn't ready and that they were doing it to benefit his nose. My baby girl is still not being fed, just IV as a supplement. I'm tired today, did a lot of cying last night and just kind of weary. I know I can't be and I will snap out of it, some days are just harder than others.